North Dallas nice

by Granny Girl

Last week I got a call from an employment agency in Dallas, wanting me to come in and register with them because they had a good job prospect for me in commercial real estate. The job prospect was in north Dallas, or Uptown, and paid really well. That put me into a bit of a tizzy because I had recently lost some weight and my dress pants no longer fit. Not so long ago I had a great working woman wardrobe. As I lost weight I donated the clothes to a group at my church that help women get back in the workforce. This motivated to keep the weight off or go naked!

The agency called in the morning. The appointment was for that afternoon. I scrambled to get my resume and list of references printed up, Google the map and directions and get that printed, and find something to wear. After much trying on and discarding, I came up with a striped gathered broomstick skirt in colors of turquoise, blue, brown, black and beige. I wore a soft, unstructured turquoise jacket and a black camisole, brown boots and a brown purse. Not great, but not tacky.

When I walked into the interview room the recruiter gave me a quick look over. If I hadn't been watching for it I would've missed it, but it was definitely a look over. She like my resume and took my references list and said she would pass it on to her client. It was at that point that I told her, "I know that I'm not presenting the polished, professional look your client will expect." And then I explained the whole weight loss, size change thing. I told her I had been looking for presentable suits but it was hard to find them in a size 2 petite short. I promised I would go that very day and get some clothes. She said, "Thank you for telling me that. Most people wouldn't. And yes, you really need to get something." Talk about candor!

Yesterday morning she called me to set up the appointment time for the interview, so we set it for yesterday afternoon. Her last sentence on the phone was, "Be sure to wear your suit." I did wear a suit (thank goodness I got the pants hemmed!) and headed off to Uptown. There really is a different vibe there. I parked in a parking garage, walked across the marble floored lobby, got instructions from a nice lady who said I looked lost (I was, because the elevators only went up to the 18th floor and I had to go to the 20th, but the nice lady told me the trick to that), and then I went up the elevator (that announced each floor stop in a whispery, scary voice) to the 20th floor. Two very professional ladies interviewed me. Neither one wore a suit.

The power of a present

by Mama Mabel

My cousin/sister-I-never-had Nicole used her magical Kohl's discount shopping powers to send me a toaster oven.  It has bells.  It has whistles.  It shoots confetti out of the top.  Okay, it doesn't but it can fit a 12 inch pizza and bake muffins without burning them.  It arrived yesterday and I literally did a happy dance (after making sure no one could see me) when I saw it.

Nicole has the gift of giving.  Her philosophy is that God gives us extra so we can bless others with it.  As a frequent recipient of her gifts, I can tell you that it is a blessing.  Sometime times they're store bought like my toaster oven, sometimes handmade like the super-cool twine art hanging proudly on my wall.  Sometimes it's a giftcard like the one to the only pizza place in town that got me through more than one stressful evening after work when I was too tired to cook.  No matter what it is, it has made me feel loved and reminded me that I need to be more diligent in showing love to those around me in tangible ways because I've seen the power of such displays of affection.

Perhaps her greatest example of love is that when I thank her, Nicole often says, "I think God gives us extra so we can use it to bless others."  This is one of the many reasons I've chosen to make this cousin my adoptive sister.

A much needed break with an abrupt end

by Mama Mabel

Yesterday evening I took a much needed break.  Monday and Tuesday I worked late, came home to cook and do dishes then got Ladybug into her jammies went to bed shortly after dinner since it was already 9pm or later. 

Last night was church night and I had not thrown anything into the crock pot before leaving for work.  By 4pm I was braindead.  By 4:40, the internet at my office was acting up and I had nothing quick left to do.  I made the executive decision to leave early and pick up barbecue on my way home from the recently arrived food truck here in town.  We actually had time to eat and made it to church so I didn't have to cook and I was able to visit with friends and worship communally.  I was a good night and I am very thankful for the reprieve. 

I had it fixed in my mind that I would be on track again today.  I had it planned out to make crock pot baked potatoes which we can top with leftover barbecue after I worked late again.  I knew what I wanted to get done before leaving the office.  I would be hardworking and productive.

Apparently Ladybug also felt that my break should be over because she made sure I put in my time doing hard mommy labor when she woke all of us up by throwing up in our bed.  And on herself and on me when I pulled her into my lap in an attempt to comfort her while saving the sheets.  Luckily Coondog quickly got us some paper towels and changed the sheets while I comforted a very confused and upset toddler.  She didn't know why her body betrayed her and why she was all messy.  It was not a pretty sight.  But, by the time I finished showering her off, she was a happy camper excited to wear her ducky towel and all was forgotten.  At least I wasn't expecting an easy day or I would have been sorely disappointed. 

I think I could probably learn something from her emotional resiliency also. Philippians 4:8 says "...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  By not dwelling on her traumatizing awakening, Ladybug was able to fully enjoy showering, one of her favorite activities and bounce into a joyful morning.  May I be so quick to look for the positives.

Facing giants

by Granny Girl

In the book of Numbers, chapters 13-14, we're told about the spies Moses sent into the land of Canaan to spy it out. He sent one man from each of the tribes of Israel plus Joshua, the son of Nun. The spies found their promised future home to be a land of wonders! It was a land they described as "flowing with milk and honey." Now that seems like reason enough for the men to recommend to Moses that the childen of Israel take the land God had promised them and inhabit it. But only Caleb (from the tribe of Judah) and Joshua made that recommendation. The other men had seen how strong and big the inhabitants of Canaan were. Some were descendants of giants, so they were indeed big. And these men shifted their focus from the promise to the problem. The Israelites listened to these naysayers and started up their habitual whining. "Why didn't we just die in the land of Egypt?" they cried.

I love Joshua and Caleb's response! "And they spoke to the congregation of the children of Israel, saying: "The land we passed through to spy out is an exceedingly good land. If the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us, 'a land which flows with milk and honey.' Only do not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread, their protection has departed from them, and the Lord is with us. Do not fear them."

The Israelites chose to follow the fearmongers, and it was only through intercession by Moses that God didn't just kill them right there and then. He instead had mercy on them and allowed them to live out their days, but that generation never got to inhabit the promised land. And God did wipe out the spies who gave the negative report with a plague.

I'm so glad this was my lesson for today. Right now I'm completely without an income. My unemployment benefits have ended, and I haven't made any real estate deals yet, so no commissions are coming in. I have some job prospects, but nothing sure. It greatly encourages me to see the example in Numbers on how to face an uncertain future. I will choose to follow Caleb and Joshua's example and believe in God's promises of provision and His might in overcoming the enemy. Nothing about my future is in my control except for my attitude and actions. God will honor my faith like he did Caleb's in Numbers 14:24 "But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit in him and has followed Me fully, I will bring into the land where he went, and his descendants shall inherit it."

Adjustments

by Granny Girl

I always kinda had in the back of mind the idea that life would be more stable and predictable as I got older. I was so wrong. I found out life is never predictable and seldom stable. In the past year I've gone from being a single grandmother raising a thirteen year old grandson and having his seven and nine year old brothers on the weekends to being the matriarch of a household that still includes the thirteen year old, but also includes the boys' dad (my oldest son, Nate) and Nate's fiance, Tara, and her four year old son, Gibby. And the seven and nine year old grandsons are here any day that's not a school day since their dad is here. If you count my youngest son, twenty two year old Alex who lives in the shed in the back yard (it's a nice shed, I promise!) then you have eight people in one household, four of whom are adults. Nate sleeps in the garage (I'm really missing the parking space), his three boys in one room and Tara and Gibby in the other bedroom.

I grew up in a household of eight so I knew it could be done, but there are a lot of adjustments that have to happen when you're blending families and you have two grown women and two grown men in the same house. I'm happy to say we've made most of the necessary adjustments and we're moving right along. It hasn't been easy, but there's been a lot of cooperation and a lot of open communication. Not easy, but necessary. I think the kids have had the hardest time with all the changes and adjustments. Cameron, the thirteen year old, had to give up being the one and only. His brothers, Evan and Caleb, were here for weeks when their Mom and Pop (stepdad, great guy!) lost their house and had to move in with Pop's parents. It was really hard on them to go so long without seeing their mom. Gibby, Tara's four year old, had lived with her parents most of his life. He had to adjust to not being an only child. I think an even harder adjustment on him was the differences in household rules and the implementation of consistent discipline. It's a hard concept for a four year old to learn that he's not in charge and the grownups are capable of making decisions and having conversations without his input. But he's trying really hard and he's loving having a houseful of boys to hang with.

There have been some tough financial adjustments, too. We've learned to talk things out and figure out how to get the bills paid and to live on what we have. Very good lessons for all of us! Now Nate has a job, and I have some good prospects for full time positions. I'm working as a real estate agent now. It's commission only, but I'm so glad I've had time between full time jobs to get trained and learn the biz. I plan on keeping my license activated and working real estate on the side once I start working a 9 to 5 job.

I certainly didn't see this particular set of circumstances coming, but I'm grateful to God that He has given us grace to get to this point where we can all live peacefully together.

Behind the curve in house cleaning

by Mama Mabel

It's taken far too long but I think I'm finally getting with it:  I'm making steady progress in cleaning my house.  I actually have all my Christmas stuff and some old baby things that Ladybug has outgrown in my car right now to be put in our storage unit here in town.  I even have a bag of my old clothes to donate to the local church clothes closet shoved in the floorboard.  I've quit feeling that I'm entitled to do nothing but (sometimes) cook dinner then sit around each night after I get off work.  Instead, most nights I try to do at least one thing to clean or declutter my house.  But I'm also realistic.  On Wednesday nights when we go to church, I don't clean.  If I get home from work late and dinner isn't ready until 8:30, I don't clean.  I think the key is not being too hard on myself while not allowing myself to be lazy.  It's a tough line and I'm still working on getting my balance but I feel much better since something clicked in me a week or two ago.

It's had a good effect on my daughter too.  Ladybug likes the more active Mama.  She tries to help a lot since anything Mama is doing must be cool.  (Just wait 10 years!)  Having her help now slows me down but generally makes the job more enjoyable because of her enthusiasm and general silliness.  For example, yesterday, she helped me consolidate the Christmas things into a few plastic tubs and boxes.  This consisted of her taking out things she wanted to hold and showing them to me and me convincing her that they had to go back in the box until next Christmas.  Not the fastest way to do things but hopefully it planted the idea in her mind that it's good to clear out unnecessary things until the proper time.  It will still be just as special when you unpack it again as when you put it up.  My ultimate motivation - aside from a clean, peaceful home that I'm not embarrassed to have guests in - is to teach Ladybug a better way to live than I've previously adopted for myself.  You can pick things up as you go.  You can take a few hours on a weekend to deep clean something or do a big project.  You can throw away or donate things that you have never/will never use.  You can find a place for everything and work to keep everything in its place.    The process is liberating and empowering.  If you haven't already tried it, give it a whirl.  You'll be surprised how quickly it makes you feel better.

The humor in driving a wooden man crazy

by Mama Mabel

When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that I could drive a wooden man crazy with my arguing.  Now I understand what she meant.  Yesterday, Ladybug figured out how to clearly say the word "no."  It's now her favorite word.  Sometimes she says it even when she means "yes" just for the fun of being contradictory.  Then she can't figure out why I don't give her the cup of milk she rejected or I put up the toy the just refused.  It's funny watching her figure of the cause and effect of the word "no."

The whole "no" thing came to a really funny culmination last night.  Normally, we sing songs in the dark as the final step in our bedtime routine.  After trying to teach her dad "Zacchaeus was a wee little man," we moved on to "Wheels on the Bus," a longtime favorite.  Normally, she picks who each verse will be about and I repeat the name back to her to confirm.  She'll then change her mind, sometimes going through half a dozen names before settling on one, after which we sing the verse together.  This time it was different.  After finally getting it across in her limited vocabulary that she wanted to sing the song by herself, she went through a few verses in which she'd announce someone's name then singsong the sound or phrase we've made up for them.  All was going smoothly until the indecisiveness started.  She would announce the next person (or animal) then quickly nix it and call out a new name.  It became an endless loop that went something like this:

"Papaw.  No!  Honey! No, no!  Mama.  Mama (repeated contently as if this was the one).  NO!  Chip!  Dada!  No.  Mapaw(?)!  Honey!  No,  no, Dada.  No.  Dada!  NO!  Miss Kitty!!"

Eventually she argued herself to sleep.  All in all, it was a smooth bedtime.

Elmo needs sensitivity training

by Mama Mabel

On our recent trip back to Oklahoma, my friend Cindy and I missed seeing each other because her two year old daughter Sylvia had to nap during the brief window of free time that I had available.  Here's the story in her own words of what happened during that time:

"That was the day Sylvia learned about how boys are sometimes insensitive to a lady’s feelings.  She was wailing in her bed because she didn’t want to take a nap but was also exhausted when she managed to kick Elmo back on  and he said something to her.  She stopped crying for a second because it surprised her, but then she started crying again and again managed to hit his foot so that he said “Let’s pretend!” to which she responded through her tears “No Elmo!  I’m crying!” So he said “Let’s be astronauts!”  Sylvi just couldn’t believe he didn’t understand her feelings. “I’m crying, Elmo!”  I was cracking up.  That Big Hugs Elmo has not only been one of her favorite gifts, but a source of great entertainment for me as well as she interacts with him.  Hilarious.  She absolutely loves him and hugs and cuddles him and tells him she loves him.  Except when he says “Hold Elmo tighter!”  Her response is a disgusted “No!”  He begs again “Tighter!”  Sylvia: “NO!”  Too far Elmo.  He should be thankful for the hugs he is already receiving…lol"

Sacrifice of praise - Take 2

by Mama Mabel

Last night I remembered what almost put me over the edge and led to me creating a list of intentional praise in the first place.  Somehow it didn't make the original list.  Here it is:

The bottom heat rod on my toaster oven going out - This is my only oven-like heat source.  Now I'm down to a hot plate that can't maintain high heat for an extended period of time and 3 crockpots in assorted sizes.  Despite the fact that it took up to an hour to bake 6 good sized biscuits and sometimes burnt the top of things while leaving other parts cool, this toaster oven was a mainstay of my food prep.  Now it only heats on the top and that rod is hotter in some spots than others.  I am choosing to be thankful for this because it is making me think more creatively in how I cook (important when I spend all day in left brain thinking) and because I think it is a precursor to God giving me a better cooking appliance, be it a better toaster oven or the relatively expensive wiring to get my super nice oven finally hooked up and running.  

Short story - at the house we lived in before this, the oven door wouldn't stay closed without a potholder wedged in it.  Needless to say, it was a fire hazard to turn it on.  So, I became very good at utilizing a toaster oven.  At the time, I was mad (a lot) that I had to use such a dinky appliance while the full sized one just sat there being useless.  However, we then moved into a house with an empty room for a kitchen.  On top of all the other transitions and the long hours of tax season shortly after the move, I don't think I could have survived mentally or emotionally if I'd had to adjust to toast oven cooking at that point in life.  The useless oven in my last house was God preparing me for this house.  While I sincerely hope that this isn't God's way of preparing me to live in even more frustrating circumstances, I do accept that even if it is, it's for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose.

The sacrifice of praise

by Mama Mabel

Several things around our house just went kaput.  I would very much like to whine about it (and have a little), I've been inspired by Jessica Smartt's blog about "The Unthankful Thankful List" and remembering Hebrews 13:15, "Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name."  So here is my list of things I am choosing to be grateful for right now.

A moody heat pump - Ironically, our central heat doesn't like to work in the coldest weather.  This is helping me to remember that comfort is a luxury, not a necessity and feel more empathy for those without regular heat sources.  (and no, we're not freezing, just chilly with a big electric bill from all the space heaters)

One of our last few space heaters dying - We actually had the money to buy a new $50 one a few days before payday.  That is a big deal.  We don't normally have the much to spare.  Praise God for His provision! 

Cracked pipes in our well house - Our pipes froze and when we thawed them, water went all over our well house but not to our actual house.  So we still have no running water and are faced with the cost of repairs.  This has reminded me of the importance of planning ahead since we're living off the gallons of water we stashed in a hall closet in case a power outage shut down our well pump.  It will also lead to quicker upgrades to our well house that were (obviously) sorely needed anyway. 

Washing my hair in the bathroom sink at my office - I am thankful to have a job where I can do this after hours and no one cares (not that I told them b/c it's kinda weird but they wouldn't care).  Plus, Ladybug got a big kick out of watching me do something so different when she came to pick me up.

Sharing a bed with my toddler - the cold has driven us all to sleep in our queen sized bed with a space heater making a herculean effort to keep our room warm.  Last night it worked so well that I kicked all 4 of my blankets off during the night.  That's right.  I slept warmly.  Ladybug moves a lot in her sleep meaning my sleep isn't the soundest when she's with us, but she gives off a lot of body heat so I guess that balances it.  And in the long run, if she remembers back this far, this type of adventure will be one of her favorite memories.  As a side note, I'm also thankful we only have kid at this point.  We're perfectly sized for our circumstances.

A lack of financial abundance - we have what we need but not a lot of extra.  All the things above could be resolved easily if we had gobs of money but what would that teach us about dependence on God, personal sacrifice, and hard work to take care of ourselves and our child?  Nothing.

The more I think about it, praise is only a sacrifice because my attitude isn't right.  If I spent more time thinking about all God is accomplishing through this, praise would flow freely.  I'm sure He's doing more than I could even imagine.  

Thank you God for all you're doing in my life and for my family.  I praise you for the home You gave us which is exactly the home You wanted us to have to fulfill Your purposes.  I'm so glad my life is in Your hands and not my own.  Please help me to quit trying to take it back.  Amen.

Too cold to pee

by Mama Mabel

Ladybug and I have been working on potty training.  She did very well all weekend, only having accidents shortly after waking up and while helping me wash dishes in warm water which is understandable.

This morning I was so proud of her for telling me she needed to go potty and heading straight toward the bathroom.  Since she's such a big girl, she even pull her own pants up and down and can take off a diaper if she's wearing one which she does for bedtime.  She stationed herself in front of her training potty and started unzipping her footie pajamas all by herself which still amazes me.  Then she froze.  She started pulling the separated sides back together and shaking her head no.  This was very unlike her so I asked if she didn't need to go peepee after all (ah, the extensive vocabulary of parents with small children).  It turns out she did but she was too cold to take her one piece pajamas off.  This is the kid who never sleeps under blankets no matter how cold the room is because they make her hot.  The kid who can have hands like ice and still not think she's cold.  The kid who will take off her shoes and walk on a cold floor in socks, oblivious to the temperature.  That kid was too cold to pee this morning.

I told her she could go in her diaper and I'd change it in the warm bedroom where we had run a space heater all night.  She normally resents that suggestion since she's a big girl but she totally went for it this morning.  After that she was a happy camper and even let me put 3 layers of clothes on her without fussing.  Needless to say, our house was an igloo this morning.  Hope you all are staying warm.

Hoppin' John Soup

by Mama Mabel

The Hoppin' John Soup I made for the New Year's Eve bash at our church turned out very well.  If you like Hoppin' Johns, I suggest you make it.  I included the recipe in my last post but here it is again:

in 4 qt crockpot:
1 lb dried black eyed peas
1 box (approx 32 oz) vegetable broth
1/3-1/2 each yellow, red and green bell peppers
1-2 Tbsp dried minced onion
cubed leftover ham (amount to preference)
1/4 lb uncooked bacon (optional, adds great flavor)
salt and pepper to taste (I'm pretty liberal, a few tsp of each)
dash of garlic salt (optional)
enough water to fill crock within 2 inches of top but not enough to boil over

Cook on high for 6 hours then simmer on low until you serve.

Do you like my super exact measurements?  I put 1/2 of each of the bell peppers when I made it and I like it but it was a strong flavor.  You could easily use less bell pepper and/or totally eliminate the yellow one.  I put my bacon on top with the intention of pulling it out after it cooked but decided to stir it in at the last minute. It didn't hurt the taste of the dish but it definitely reduced the visual appeal because the bacon fell apart into little stringy bits.  Next time, I'll scoop it out before I serve. 

This dish has a very unique taste.  It would be great served over rice.  If you like Hoppin' Johns and having dinner ready when you walk in the door, this is the meal for you.