by Mama Mabel
Me: The IRS is not accepting your tax return. It looks like your son claimed himself on his own taxes so he can't be your dependent.
Client: Did we claim him this year?
Me: Yes, you said he was a student so we claimed him.
Client: He was a student through May.
Me: Right. You told us that so we left him as your dependent but he already filed his taxes claiming himself so you don't get to claim him.
Client: Will that take another $100 off our refund?
Me: Unfortunately, it takes a lot more off than that. You go from getting $700 back to $121 back on your federal return and then $280 from the state return.
Client: So we get $126 and $298 back?
Me: No. $121 and $280.
Client: So we don't get nothing back?
Me: You get $121 and $280.
Client: We have to pay you from the $126 so we only get the $298 back. Can we claim him for a partial year since he was student until May?
Me: No. It's an all or nothing thing and he already claimed himself.
Client: I thought you could do a partial year.
Me: You can't.
Client: But he was a student for part of the year. Can't we claim him for part of it?
Me: No.
Client: Paying off that credit card didn't help much.
Me: Paying off credit cards doesn't affect your taxes.
Client: We won't get anything back next year will we?
Me: I don't know. It depends on what you pay in.
Client: But if we make less, we get more back right?
Me: It depends on how much you pay in.
Client: Well, okay.
At this point, the client finally decided I wasn't going to be any help and got off the phone. She'd also decided that she didn't need to pay us until her bigger state return came in since the federal amount is so small. That will be another conversation for another day.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Be kind to your tax preparer. They deal with a lot.
by Mama Mabel
Working for a CPA, I deal with a wide range of clients. Some are great at tracking their legitimate expenses and income while others think ignorance is not only bliss but the safest way to go when dealing with the IRS. They are wrong. Here are some funny conversations that have happened in our office.
Me: I see you sold a cow, was that bought or raised? [strangely, that makes a tax difference]
Client 1: I don't remember. I think we bought it.
Me: Okay. What did you pay for it?
Client 1: I don't know. What did I sell it for?
Me: $400.
Client 1: I think I paid $300 for that one.
Me: Okay.
Client 1: Yeah, the guy we got it from owed us $300 so we just kept the cow since he couldn't pay.
Me: Um, okay.
Client 1: Or maybe we traded some hay for it. I think we traded hay for the cow.
Me: How much was the hay worth?
Client 1: Around $300. That's what we paid for the cow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Coworker (MC): Unfortunately, you owe $12,000 in federal taxes.
Client 2: How is that possible? I didn't make any money last year!
MC: You had a net profit of $60,000 on your business and the taxes include self-employment tax.
Client 2: But I don't have no money! I didn't make anything last year!
MC: Well, a lot of the deductions you had written down aren't allowed by the IRS. Your business actually made a profit because we can't deduct things like beer or your new fishing boat or your clothes. Those are things everyone has to buy for themselves and aren't actually business expenses.
Client 2: That's no fair! The IRS is just ripping me off and taking all my money!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: I just need you to bring back the efile authorization with your wife's signature and the payment and I'll get your returns filed.
Client 4: Okay, I'll be back
[20 minutes later]
Client 4: Here are the forms.
Me: Okay, they look good. If you want to leave a check, we can hold it until your refund comes in before we cash it.
Client 4: You didn't tell me I had to pay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MC on phone with client: What was the land worth that you sold last year?
Client 3: I don't know. What do you think?
MC: [beats phone against her head]
Working for a CPA, I deal with a wide range of clients. Some are great at tracking their legitimate expenses and income while others think ignorance is not only bliss but the safest way to go when dealing with the IRS. They are wrong. Here are some funny conversations that have happened in our office.
Me: I see you sold a cow, was that bought or raised? [strangely, that makes a tax difference]
Client 1: I don't remember. I think we bought it.
Me: Okay. What did you pay for it?
Client 1: I don't know. What did I sell it for?
Me: $400.
Client 1: I think I paid $300 for that one.
Me: Okay.
Client 1: Yeah, the guy we got it from owed us $300 so we just kept the cow since he couldn't pay.
Me: Um, okay.
Client 1: Or maybe we traded some hay for it. I think we traded hay for the cow.
Me: How much was the hay worth?
Client 1: Around $300. That's what we paid for the cow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Coworker (MC): Unfortunately, you owe $12,000 in federal taxes.
Client 2: How is that possible? I didn't make any money last year!
MC: You had a net profit of $60,000 on your business and the taxes include self-employment tax.
Client 2: But I don't have no money! I didn't make anything last year!
MC: Well, a lot of the deductions you had written down aren't allowed by the IRS. Your business actually made a profit because we can't deduct things like beer or your new fishing boat or your clothes. Those are things everyone has to buy for themselves and aren't actually business expenses.
Client 2: That's no fair! The IRS is just ripping me off and taking all my money!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: I just need you to bring back the efile authorization with your wife's signature and the payment and I'll get your returns filed.
Client 4: Okay, I'll be back
[20 minutes later]
Client 4: Here are the forms.
Me: Okay, they look good. If you want to leave a check, we can hold it until your refund comes in before we cash it.
Client 4: You didn't tell me I had to pay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MC on phone with client: What was the land worth that you sold last year?
Client 3: I don't know. What do you think?
MC: [beats phone against her head]
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Saturday morning quiet
by Granny Girl
It's early Saturday morning after the first full week at my new job. The house is quiet. I'm loving early mornings again. Since I've been getting up at 5:15 every morning this week to have some quiet time to read my Bible and pray, my body clock has reset.
Peace and quiet is a rare commodity around here. Pretty soon the grandsons will start waking up. Oops, spoke too soon! Four year old Gibby just came into my bedroom and crawled into my still unmade bed. And the talking begins...... I'll have to finish up and go pour him a bowl of cereal.
So the quiet has ended, but it was nice while it lasted. Glad I got up early so I could experience it. :)
It's early Saturday morning after the first full week at my new job. The house is quiet. I'm loving early mornings again. Since I've been getting up at 5:15 every morning this week to have some quiet time to read my Bible and pray, my body clock has reset.
Peace and quiet is a rare commodity around here. Pretty soon the grandsons will start waking up. Oops, spoke too soon! Four year old Gibby just came into my bedroom and crawled into my still unmade bed. And the talking begins...... I'll have to finish up and go pour him a bowl of cereal.
So the quiet has ended, but it was nice while it lasted. Glad I got up early so I could experience it. :)
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Working in Uptown
by Granny Girl
I did get hired at the firm in north Dallas. I just completed my third day of work. Whew! I knew it would be tough to go back to working full time, and I was right! The commute takes about an hour. That may sound rough, but it's the only time I'm ever alone. So it's great! I sing. I pray. I listen to the radio. I talk on my cell phone. Fun!
My new workplace is very nice. The commercial real estate company I work for owns the building, so they were able to design their suite of offices that take up the entire 20th floor of a high rise! (How cool is that?) The work room is admin heaven. Every possible office supply is there. They have see through cubby drawers for the different pens and markers. Is that cute or what? And the kitchen! It's beautiful, with windows on two sides looking out over Dallas. The appliances are stainless steel, the water is filtered, the fridge is stocked with soft drinks, coffee in carafes, iced tea made fresh every morning. Ahhh! Living the good life!
Best of all, the people are nice. They're all very hard working, but they take the time to make this newbie comfortable. I think this is going to be my favorite job ever!
I did get hired at the firm in north Dallas. I just completed my third day of work. Whew! I knew it would be tough to go back to working full time, and I was right! The commute takes about an hour. That may sound rough, but it's the only time I'm ever alone. So it's great! I sing. I pray. I listen to the radio. I talk on my cell phone. Fun!
My new workplace is very nice. The commercial real estate company I work for owns the building, so they were able to design their suite of offices that take up the entire 20th floor of a high rise! (How cool is that?) The work room is admin heaven. Every possible office supply is there. They have see through cubby drawers for the different pens and markers. Is that cute or what? And the kitchen! It's beautiful, with windows on two sides looking out over Dallas. The appliances are stainless steel, the water is filtered, the fridge is stocked with soft drinks, coffee in carafes, iced tea made fresh every morning. Ahhh! Living the good life!
Best of all, the people are nice. They're all very hard working, but they take the time to make this newbie comfortable. I think this is going to be my favorite job ever!
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