Adjustments

by Granny Girl

I always kinda had in the back of mind the idea that life would be more stable and predictable as I got older. I was so wrong. I found out life is never predictable and seldom stable. In the past year I've gone from being a single grandmother raising a thirteen year old grandson and having his seven and nine year old brothers on the weekends to being the matriarch of a household that still includes the thirteen year old, but also includes the boys' dad (my oldest son, Nate) and Nate's fiance, Tara, and her four year old son, Gibby. And the seven and nine year old grandsons are here any day that's not a school day since their dad is here. If you count my youngest son, twenty two year old Alex who lives in the shed in the back yard (it's a nice shed, I promise!) then you have eight people in one household, four of whom are adults. Nate sleeps in the garage (I'm really missing the parking space), his three boys in one room and Tara and Gibby in the other bedroom.

I grew up in a household of eight so I knew it could be done, but there are a lot of adjustments that have to happen when you're blending families and you have two grown women and two grown men in the same house. I'm happy to say we've made most of the necessary adjustments and we're moving right along. It hasn't been easy, but there's been a lot of cooperation and a lot of open communication. Not easy, but necessary. I think the kids have had the hardest time with all the changes and adjustments. Cameron, the thirteen year old, had to give up being the one and only. His brothers, Evan and Caleb, were here for weeks when their Mom and Pop (stepdad, great guy!) lost their house and had to move in with Pop's parents. It was really hard on them to go so long without seeing their mom. Gibby, Tara's four year old, had lived with her parents most of his life. He had to adjust to not being an only child. I think an even harder adjustment on him was the differences in household rules and the implementation of consistent discipline. It's a hard concept for a four year old to learn that he's not in charge and the grownups are capable of making decisions and having conversations without his input. But he's trying really hard and he's loving having a houseful of boys to hang with.

There have been some tough financial adjustments, too. We've learned to talk things out and figure out how to get the bills paid and to live on what we have. Very good lessons for all of us! Now Nate has a job, and I have some good prospects for full time positions. I'm working as a real estate agent now. It's commission only, but I'm so glad I've had time between full time jobs to get trained and learn the biz. I plan on keeping my license activated and working real estate on the side once I start working a 9 to 5 job.

I certainly didn't see this particular set of circumstances coming, but I'm grateful to God that He has given us grace to get to this point where we can all live peacefully together.