by Granny Girl
I have been told by more than one person that I'm an enabler. I don't think I am, but it would be foolish to disregard the warnings of people who truly care about me. I've been thinking and praying on this for awhile and I still don't have an answer. I firmly believe in the power of kindness, but am I too kind? I think putting others first is a good thing, but am I negating myself to do this? See the ambivalence here?
Last week, at the invitation of a dear friend, I began attending a recovery program for codependent people, or enablers. Since it was my first time to attend, I went to an orientation session instead of a regular sharing session. I picked up a brochure on codependency and it kindly pointed out that on the surface, codependency sounds like "Christian teaching." And then it gave a list of traits that codependents possess. Frankly, I didn't see myself in most of these traits, but there was one that really rang my bell: "Codependents do not ask others to meet their needs or desires." I'm hoping I will learn the purpose of asking others to meet my needs by going through this program. But really, isn't it better to ask God to meet your needs? Once again, ambivalence.
I'm really leaning toward thinking I'm not an enabler. This scripture is propping up my leaning: Col. 1:10-11 "...that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God, strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy." This sounds to me like patience and longsuffering bring joy, and that God will strengthen me with all might. But I don't want to be blind to a fault that may be holding me back from truly walking worthy of the Lord and fully pleasing Him. Ambivalence. Sigh.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Anything you can do, I can do sillier
by Mama Mabel
Last night, I did not want to do the dishes. There weren't that many since I've made a point of staying somewhat caught up with them, but I still didn't want to do them. I wanted to play with Ladybug because it was almost her bedtime when we finished our late dinner. As a compromise, I called her in to do dishes with me.
Ladybug is my helper in all things possible, but washing dishes is one of her favorite chores. I wash them in a plastic tub in the bathtub which allows her to reach the water coming from the faucet and the edge of my washtub along with whatever dish I put close enough for her to grab.
A few days ago, she requested her own plastic mesh scrubber like I use and washed the same sippy cup for 10 minutes. Last night she fixated on rinsing. She would fill a plastic cup at the faucet with the utmost concentration. Then, when I washed a dish, she would pour her cup of water over it and laugh hysterically. The most exciting times were when she caught me holding a plate horizontally and the water went bouncing back into the air. She also built up suspense for herself by tilting her cup just enough to get a few drops out then righting it again. She'd look at me like, "look at the power I weld! Only I can release the water from the cup!" Needless to say, the small number of dishes took a lot longer to wash than necessary. Once they were all done, we did our standard parade back to the kitchen with me carrying the full drying rack and her carrying the empty wash tub. Coondog told us we had too much fun washing dishes. I would have agreed with him but there's no such thing as too much fun with your kid. Especially if it transforms washing dishes from a chore to a hilarious exploration of the wonders of a cup of water.
Last night, I did not want to do the dishes. There weren't that many since I've made a point of staying somewhat caught up with them, but I still didn't want to do them. I wanted to play with Ladybug because it was almost her bedtime when we finished our late dinner. As a compromise, I called her in to do dishes with me.
Ladybug is my helper in all things possible, but washing dishes is one of her favorite chores. I wash them in a plastic tub in the bathtub which allows her to reach the water coming from the faucet and the edge of my washtub along with whatever dish I put close enough for her to grab.
A few days ago, she requested her own plastic mesh scrubber like I use and washed the same sippy cup for 10 minutes. Last night she fixated on rinsing. She would fill a plastic cup at the faucet with the utmost concentration. Then, when I washed a dish, she would pour her cup of water over it and laugh hysterically. The most exciting times were when she caught me holding a plate horizontally and the water went bouncing back into the air. She also built up suspense for herself by tilting her cup just enough to get a few drops out then righting it again. She'd look at me like, "look at the power I weld! Only I can release the water from the cup!" Needless to say, the small number of dishes took a lot longer to wash than necessary. Once they were all done, we did our standard parade back to the kitchen with me carrying the full drying rack and her carrying the empty wash tub. Coondog told us we had too much fun washing dishes. I would have agreed with him but there's no such thing as too much fun with your kid. Especially if it transforms washing dishes from a chore to a hilarious exploration of the wonders of a cup of water.
Monday, October 28, 2013
The check's in the mail
By Mama Mabel
This weekend, we received one of those pieces of mail that requires you to tear off 3 sides at the perforation marks before you can see what's inside. I secretly love these because I love disconnecting paper along perforations. I'm weird, I know.
Anyway, this one kind of concerned me because it wasn't obviously a fake check from a credit card company or a tax notice, the two main sources of this type of mail. I had a bad feeling about it which was confirmed when we opened it to find a notice from the hospital where I had Ladybug. "We can't afford that right now!" I thought and started to get upset. Then I saw that it wasn't a bill. It was a check! They sent us a check! It wasn't a huge check but it was just what we needed to cover some upcoming expenses. I'd told God that I didn't know how we were going to afford them but I knew He had it covered so I would be the best steward possible and then just not worry about it. As always, God came through when we needed Him.
I once heard a missionary telling the story of his life and how many times God had provided for his family when things looked impossible. I thought to myself, "well sure, they're missionaries. They know God's going to take care of them because they're following His will for their lives and He will provide the way for them to keep doing that." (Yes, I usually think in full sentences like that as if I'm having a conversation with myself.) Then I had the earth shattering realization that the same standard applies to me. I may not be a missionary in the classic "go to a foreign country and preach to strangers" sense, but God hasn't called me to do that. Instead, he's called me to settle in this rural community, be a good wife and mother and neighbor and friend, and live my everyday humdrum life in a way that is honoring to Him. I try to listen when He tells me to do something and actually obey. If you think about it, that's what Ruth in the Bible did. She moved to a new place and treated her family (at the time it was just Naomi) with respect. She worked hard at harvesting to feed herself and Naomi. For that, she ended up in the lineage of Jesus. I've always loved the book of Ruth for showing how God cares about such seemingly unimportant lives. I'm doing nothing to change the world on a large scale but Ruth didn't either and God is still just as faithful to pour out blessings on someone who is only significant due to her status as His child. What a great God I serve!
This weekend, we received one of those pieces of mail that requires you to tear off 3 sides at the perforation marks before you can see what's inside. I secretly love these because I love disconnecting paper along perforations. I'm weird, I know.
Anyway, this one kind of concerned me because it wasn't obviously a fake check from a credit card company or a tax notice, the two main sources of this type of mail. I had a bad feeling about it which was confirmed when we opened it to find a notice from the hospital where I had Ladybug. "We can't afford that right now!" I thought and started to get upset. Then I saw that it wasn't a bill. It was a check! They sent us a check! It wasn't a huge check but it was just what we needed to cover some upcoming expenses. I'd told God that I didn't know how we were going to afford them but I knew He had it covered so I would be the best steward possible and then just not worry about it. As always, God came through when we needed Him.
I once heard a missionary telling the story of his life and how many times God had provided for his family when things looked impossible. I thought to myself, "well sure, they're missionaries. They know God's going to take care of them because they're following His will for their lives and He will provide the way for them to keep doing that." (Yes, I usually think in full sentences like that as if I'm having a conversation with myself.) Then I had the earth shattering realization that the same standard applies to me. I may not be a missionary in the classic "go to a foreign country and preach to strangers" sense, but God hasn't called me to do that. Instead, he's called me to settle in this rural community, be a good wife and mother and neighbor and friend, and live my everyday humdrum life in a way that is honoring to Him. I try to listen when He tells me to do something and actually obey. If you think about it, that's what Ruth in the Bible did. She moved to a new place and treated her family (at the time it was just Naomi) with respect. She worked hard at harvesting to feed herself and Naomi. For that, she ended up in the lineage of Jesus. I've always loved the book of Ruth for showing how God cares about such seemingly unimportant lives. I'm doing nothing to change the world on a large scale but Ruth didn't either and God is still just as faithful to pour out blessings on someone who is only significant due to her status as His child. What a great God I serve!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Full House
by Granny Girl
In the last couple of weeks a lot of changes have happened around here. It began with my oldest son losing his job in the oil fields. He moved in with me and is making the garage into his bedroom/man cave. He is starting his own company and is getting the classes and licenses needed for that. It will take a couple of months before income is coming in from that.
His fiance and her four year old son have also moved in. They are sleeping in one of the three bedrooms. (Her daycare fees quit being subsidized and jumped to $185.00 a week. What single mom can afford that?)
This influx of people means that my youngest son (age 22) had to move into the shed in the back yard. I know that sounds weird, but it's a good setup out there. It's carpeted and fully furnished. He has his TV, X-box and computer out there, so he's fine.
My 12 year old grandson has been sharing his room with his two younger brothers. Their dad is spending all the time he can with them while he's between jobs. Since the bedroom is set up for a 12 year old, their toys are stored in the living room, as are the 4 year old's toys. We stored the two love seats that were in there, and put in my future daughter-in-law's couch and two recliners. So there's the furniture, 3 toy boxes, 1 bookcase, 2 dressers and a coffee table in there. Thankfully, I have a large living room!
We have divided up the household/childcare duties and had an official budget meeting. Our goal is to support each other through this financially tough time and not let the strain of having no money affect our relationship with each other. As my mama always said while I was growing up, "We're not poor, we just don't have any money." And to be honest, it's kinda fun!
In the last couple of weeks a lot of changes have happened around here. It began with my oldest son losing his job in the oil fields. He moved in with me and is making the garage into his bedroom/man cave. He is starting his own company and is getting the classes and licenses needed for that. It will take a couple of months before income is coming in from that.
His fiance and her four year old son have also moved in. They are sleeping in one of the three bedrooms. (Her daycare fees quit being subsidized and jumped to $185.00 a week. What single mom can afford that?)
This influx of people means that my youngest son (age 22) had to move into the shed in the back yard. I know that sounds weird, but it's a good setup out there. It's carpeted and fully furnished. He has his TV, X-box and computer out there, so he's fine.
My 12 year old grandson has been sharing his room with his two younger brothers. Their dad is spending all the time he can with them while he's between jobs. Since the bedroom is set up for a 12 year old, their toys are stored in the living room, as are the 4 year old's toys. We stored the two love seats that were in there, and put in my future daughter-in-law's couch and two recliners. So there's the furniture, 3 toy boxes, 1 bookcase, 2 dressers and a coffee table in there. Thankfully, I have a large living room!
We have divided up the household/childcare duties and had an official budget meeting. Our goal is to support each other through this financially tough time and not let the strain of having no money affect our relationship with each other. As my mama always said while I was growing up, "We're not poor, we just don't have any money." And to be honest, it's kinda fun!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
New floors!!
by Granny Girl
I started praying for new floors. Specifically, vinyl plank floors. I had researched and found that these floors were indestructible. (Indestructible is my decorating style.) One day my sister called me and told me she had heard on the radio that Ideal Floors was giving away flooring. She said to go to their website and apply. My immediate thought was that this was God answering my prayer. (spoiler alert: He was!) I opened their page titled "Ideal Gives Back" and saw the question "How can we be a blessing to you?" Just reading that was a blessing! How many companies put something like that on their website? The application page said "tell us your story." I told them about the major changes that had happened in my life in the last couple of years, how I'm a single grandma caring for my grandson and that I had recently lost my job. I told them that while I was perfectly content with the concrete, new floors would be a huge blessing. A fantastic lady from Ideal Floors, Joan Davis, called me and said she was going to come out and measure my house for flooring!! She came the next day to measure and told me I could pick out enough cheap flooring to cover the living room, hall and bedrooms, or I could go a step up and get enough for just the living room and hallway. She mentioned carpet, but I asked if I could get something sweepable. She said, "What about vinyl plank?" Bam! God answered my prayer! I also made a friend for life in Joan. She's a dear lady and the more we talked, the more we saw how we had led somewhat parallel lives. She told me she prays over all the applications so the floors will go to whomever God wants them to go. And she told me that the owner of the company had started giving away flooring some time ago. God told him he needed to give more. Now he gives up to $1500 worth of new floors to ten people every month! What a guy!
The installers came two days ago. They worked for about 10 hours and got the job done. The floors are absolutely amazing!
Living room before
Living room after
Hallway before
Hallway after
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Everything including the kitchen sink
by Mama Mabel
Our remodelling neighbor is giving us her old kitchen sink since she has no use for it. She hates to see perfectly useable things being thrown in the trash so she stashed it in her shed so her new one could be installed this week. She was showing Coondog how she's going to use her old cabinets as storage in the shed when the question of what to do with the old sink came up. He convinced her that we would give it a loving home if she let us adopt it. Once Coondog and the neighbor both have free time on the same day, they'll haul it over on her trailer. And once we get our septic fixed (hopefully in the near future), we'll hook it up and I'll have a kitchen sink. With a garbage disposal. Ha! God is going all out in His current deluge of blessing.
Our remodelling neighbor is giving us her old kitchen sink since she has no use for it. She hates to see perfectly useable things being thrown in the trash so she stashed it in her shed so her new one could be installed this week. She was showing Coondog how she's going to use her old cabinets as storage in the shed when the question of what to do with the old sink came up. He convinced her that we would give it a loving home if she let us adopt it. Once Coondog and the neighbor both have free time on the same day, they'll haul it over on her trailer. And once we get our septic fixed (hopefully in the near future), we'll hook it up and I'll have a kitchen sink. With a garbage disposal. Ha! God is going all out in His current deluge of blessing.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Praise God from Whom all blessing flow...
by Mama Mable
Friday afternoon, I was frustrated over our lack of progress on the financial front. We were hit by a big bill last month and living very tightly until we get our equilibrium back. Not the end of the world, it just seems like something always hits as we start to get ahead.
On the way home from work, I turned off the radio and sang praises to God and thanked Him for all that He has done and is going to do for me. One of the things I was upset about was that I went to buy graham crackers for Ladybug before the special sale price ended but they were sold out. Given our tight budget and their extortionistic prices, I wasn't going to splurge on the pricier ones so I just left and went home. Granted, they're a luxury item and we could survive without them, but it was the end of a long day at the end of a long week and I was disappointed. As I praised God, I reminded myself that God will provide "according to his riches in glory in Jesus Christ." How much richer can you get? He had it covered.
Two minutes after I pulled into the driveway, a neighbor who adores RA stopped by on his way home from work. He can't stand to see her without giving her something (gifts are so his love language), so he handed her a box of crackers he had been snacking on. They were a new exciting flavor that gave her some much needed variety. (Blessing!) I could practically hear God saying, "you were right, I do have this covered." What a great moment.
It gets even better. We have a small fund for household improvements but were nowhere near what we needed for the big stuff. A neighbor who is redoing her entire kitchen plus her living room floors offered us her used carpet a couple of weeks ago. it's in great condition so we're going to put it in Ladybug's room to keep her warmer this winter. (Blessing!) She stopped by Saturday to confirm the measurements and offered us a price on her old oven that was beyond bargain priced. It was a steal. She wanted it out fast and is just a really nice person who has taken a liking to us, as we say in the south. She even drove it over on her trailer. We still lack the wiring needed to hook it up but that's not too far in our future. The oven is nicer than anything we could ever have dreamed of buying. It has more bells and whistles that I even hoped for. My big wish was a timer and maybe delay start bake. This has a bridge burner on the stove portion to put a griddle on and a convection oven so dinner will hopefully have fewer burned spots. It is Fancy Schmancy. God not only took care of our needs but He poured out blessings in abundance. Once again, showing that He's got it covered and I should choose faith over worry every time because He has never not come through.
Friday afternoon, I was frustrated over our lack of progress on the financial front. We were hit by a big bill last month and living very tightly until we get our equilibrium back. Not the end of the world, it just seems like something always hits as we start to get ahead.
On the way home from work, I turned off the radio and sang praises to God and thanked Him for all that He has done and is going to do for me. One of the things I was upset about was that I went to buy graham crackers for Ladybug before the special sale price ended but they were sold out. Given our tight budget and their extortionistic prices, I wasn't going to splurge on the pricier ones so I just left and went home. Granted, they're a luxury item and we could survive without them, but it was the end of a long day at the end of a long week and I was disappointed. As I praised God, I reminded myself that God will provide "according to his riches in glory in Jesus Christ." How much richer can you get? He had it covered.
Two minutes after I pulled into the driveway, a neighbor who adores RA stopped by on his way home from work. He can't stand to see her without giving her something (gifts are so his love language), so he handed her a box of crackers he had been snacking on. They were a new exciting flavor that gave her some much needed variety. (Blessing!) I could practically hear God saying, "you were right, I do have this covered." What a great moment.
It gets even better. We have a small fund for household improvements but were nowhere near what we needed for the big stuff. A neighbor who is redoing her entire kitchen plus her living room floors offered us her used carpet a couple of weeks ago. it's in great condition so we're going to put it in Ladybug's room to keep her warmer this winter. (Blessing!) She stopped by Saturday to confirm the measurements and offered us a price on her old oven that was beyond bargain priced. It was a steal. She wanted it out fast and is just a really nice person who has taken a liking to us, as we say in the south. She even drove it over on her trailer. We still lack the wiring needed to hook it up but that's not too far in our future. The oven is nicer than anything we could ever have dreamed of buying. It has more bells and whistles that I even hoped for. My big wish was a timer and maybe delay start bake. This has a bridge burner on the stove portion to put a griddle on and a convection oven so dinner will hopefully have fewer burned spots. It is Fancy Schmancy. God not only took care of our needs but He poured out blessings in abundance. Once again, showing that He's got it covered and I should choose faith over worry every time because He has never not come through.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Eyelash Emergency!
by Granny Girl
I had an appointment last week with a prospective employer. I planned ahead on what to wear and groomed myself with extra care. The night before the meeting I trimmed up my eyebrows. When one gets to a certain age one has to be very vigilant about one's eyebrows. I'm just saying. Mine remind me of Ernest Borgnine's (if you're old enough to get that reference, you're old enough to understand eyebrow troubles!). The gray eyebrow hairs are out of control, and the little fuzzies that grow underneath my brow on my eyelid drive me crazy. So I got out the little electric clippers and start carefully shaving my eyelid. I slipped and took out half my eyelashes!! On my right eye, half were normal length and half were stubs! Thankfully, I have been watching every episode of "What Not To Wear" and I have seen Carmandy (sp?), the make up artist, fix just such problems. Maybe not exactly the same problem, but eyelash problems nonetheless. Anywho, I went to the beauty supply store and got a set of eyelashes, cut them in half, trimmed them to a normal length and put them on the outside half of each eye. I think I did okay on putting them on. The whole time I was in the meeting I kept worrying that they had slipped, but I was afraid to touch them to check. You can feel them on your eyes and it's so weird! I told a friend about it and she told me she had a friend who wore false eyelashes on a first date. Midway through the date, she went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. One of the eyelashes was on her forehead, looking like a caterpillar! Ha!
There's no moral to this story. I just thought I'd share. :-)
I had an appointment last week with a prospective employer. I planned ahead on what to wear and groomed myself with extra care. The night before the meeting I trimmed up my eyebrows. When one gets to a certain age one has to be very vigilant about one's eyebrows. I'm just saying. Mine remind me of Ernest Borgnine's (if you're old enough to get that reference, you're old enough to understand eyebrow troubles!). The gray eyebrow hairs are out of control, and the little fuzzies that grow underneath my brow on my eyelid drive me crazy. So I got out the little electric clippers and start carefully shaving my eyelid. I slipped and took out half my eyelashes!! On my right eye, half were normal length and half were stubs! Thankfully, I have been watching every episode of "What Not To Wear" and I have seen Carmandy (sp?), the make up artist, fix just such problems. Maybe not exactly the same problem, but eyelash problems nonetheless. Anywho, I went to the beauty supply store and got a set of eyelashes, cut them in half, trimmed them to a normal length and put them on the outside half of each eye. I think I did okay on putting them on. The whole time I was in the meeting I kept worrying that they had slipped, but I was afraid to touch them to check. You can feel them on your eyes and it's so weird! I told a friend about it and she told me she had a friend who wore false eyelashes on a first date. Midway through the date, she went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. One of the eyelashes was on her forehead, looking like a caterpillar! Ha!
There's no moral to this story. I just thought I'd share. :-)
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