God is teaching me "waiting" right now. Trust that He will fix things in His time. Trust that He is bigger than mere humans. Patience for Him to do His good work in His good time.
I don't like waiting. I oscillate between being sad at what is broken, mad that it's broken in the first place, resigned that only God can fix it, thankful that He is faithful and loves me enough to help when I can't do it myself along with unproductive spurts of "I'll just do it myself" and self-pity.
Sometimes waiting is active. God wants me to play a supporting role to Him while He's working. Sometimes it's passive and I just have to leave things alone. Actually, in a way, waiting is always active because I have to constantly listen to God's guidance on whether to step up or stand down while not trying to impose my own expectations on how He is working.
Waiting is hard work. It takes courage to wait just like it takes courage to engage. King David understood that:
Psa. 27:14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.
And it turns out, sometimes God has to wait on us. Isaiah was talking to the rebellious Israelites when he said (30:15-19):
For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not. But ye said, No; for we will flee upon horses; therefore shall ye flee: and, We will ride upon the swift; therefore shall they that pursue you be swift. One thousand shall flee at the rebuke of one; at the rebuke of five shall ye flee: till ye be left as a beacon upon the top of a mountain, and as an ensign on an hill. And therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the Lord is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him. For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem: thou shalt weep no more: he will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when he shall hear it, he will answer thee. (emphasis mine)
It wasn't until I looked for verses about waiting that it finally sank in that it's a two way street. God wants us to trust Him so He can bless us. When we say, "No, I'm doing it my way. You're not fixing it like I think You should," we're effectively saying, "I'd rather flee with 1,000 other people from 1 guy than trust You to handle that guy." When we do that, God gives us what we want. Only when I'm submissive to God's instructions instead of my own fear and impatience does He answer me. When I look at it that way, waiting get easier.
